August 01, 2022

When we compare ourselves to others, it can be detrimental to our mental health, self-perception, and confidence.

And it’s especially difficult to avoid on social media.

That's where we see everyone’s best of the best.

People post their accomplishments, relationships, selfies (only the good ones). More times than we’d like to admit, we compare our lives and appearances to what we see online.

We all do it — even if we don’t realize it.

Comparison is a universal struggle. We see bits and pieces of other people’s lives and then see how we measure up.

But here’s the thing. We’re seeing a glimpse of their lives.

We’re not seeing their daily struggles, what they’re going through behind closed doors, and what their personal life is like when the camera is turned off. Comparing ourselves to someone else who we don’t even know is one way to negatively impact our confidence.

The grass is always greener, right? (That’s what it seems like.)

You see these people on luxurious vacations, showing off their airbrushed selfies — and you wonder why your life can’t be like that. You begin to start picking apart every inch of yourself and your life.

This is where we go wrong with social media.

That’s where we should draw the line.

We should never compromise our self-worth and self-esteem for a social media app.

Find ways to maintain your confidence — because you deserve it. (even if you feel like you don’t.)

Here are some tips and tricks to try when you feel those negative feelings settling in after scrolling on social media.

Set Boundaries

A lot of people like using social media to connect with others, share personal experiences, and gain a sense of community and engagement.

If the only thing social media brings you is negative feelings about yourself and your life — it’s time to set some stricter social media boundaries for yourself.

Delete the apps that make you feel as though you should change things about yourself — until you’re ready to address this. Try affirmations. You do NOT need to change the way you look or the way you live your life to be happy.

In moments like this, you must remind yourself, even if it may be hard, that you and your life are absolutely perfect the way you are.

Don’t allow social media to rule over your life and the way you perceive yourself.

You are in control.

Mute or remove the friends that make you feel otherwise — because your feed should be something that makes you feel joyful.

Remind Yourself: It’s a Highlight Reel — Not Real Life

It’s true. The bits we see on social media are not said person's life as a whole.

We don’t see what goes on behind closed doors.

Comparing ourselves to someone we don’t even know or understand is setting you up to fail. It’s not fair to yourself.

When you find yourself upset over comparison — take out a notebook. Write down five to ten things that you love about your life. Whether it be waking up early in the morning and having a coffee or petting your dog or getting a workout in — write it down.

Practicing gratitude is a way to reset. Through practice (and time) the negative thoughts will be washed out and the positive thoughts will take over your brain.

If you have a negative thought — let it come and go. If you find yourself harping on it, take a few deep breaths. Remind yourself this too shall pass. This is how you regulate your nervous system.

I hope these tips help the next time you find yourself doom-scrolling and comparing yourself to someone you barely even know.

Remind yourself of everything you are — deserving of love and compassion, from others, yes, but most importantly — from yourself.

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